Peek into my heart
by Caterinasama
Summary: "If you would leave this world today, what will be left behind you?" "His heart was pounding from all the adrenaline pumped into his veins. He almost got caught..." It's your decision if this remains a one shot or not.


AN: Lydia.

This is dedicated to my dark side. The one that cries every night before going to bed; that one that complains about everything. _The_ side. The real me.

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I can only see the shadows because there is light in my life. There is no smoke without a fire, I learned that the hard way. It's futile to say that time passes too quickly, that you need to live the way you want, that you don't have time for bad choices. I shouldn't be giving advice I didn't follow myself.

Life got me by surprise when I looked the other way. Always keep your mind focused on your goal, don't let yourself get distracted. Read good books and listen nice music. Anything that makes you feel something. Anything that awakes the bubbling feeling in your stomach, the one that gave you so much joy that you wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Spread your arms to the sky and hold it next to your heart, where your family, friends and gadgets are. Or whatever you love the most. Let the bright pink of happiness color your gray life. Then search for yellow. Find the green in the perfection of nature. You will feel complete, but you will continue to search for other colors. Red from the blood of all the killings, purple from hatred.

It's about the time you understand the world around you. And you pity them, all the humans leaving in it, because they can't see what you see. Life has a different meaning for you than it does for them. Life isn't about surviving, getting a job to have money to pay bills, food and the air you breathe. Life is about knowledge, debates, discovering new places; life is all about traveling, forming connections with the wide diversity of cultures around the world.

If you would leave this world today, what will be left behind you? A word that, maybe, will help somebody? Sadness? Maybe love? Or … nothing? What have you done for humanity and more important, for yourself? You paid the bills and ate at MC's… You fulfilled the goal society set for you. What about your soul that suffers from all the uncultured people around you and from fake feelings? You neglect the most important things in life.

You have regrets. I bet you think that if you wouldn't have done something or would have done it, your life would be different. Better.

 _The dark over here tastes like honey, come and have a bite,_

 _don't be thankful with the sweetness of your light._

 _Step on the path of regrets, the one that never ends._

 _The past is alluring, but you'll get to regret._

Stop denying yourself. Accept, for God's sake, who you are! If only one thing would have been different, you wouldn't be the same person you are now. You want to reset? You think you're playing Mario or what? You can't reset life but you can 'reset' your future. It's all about the present time. Not mistakes from the past neither plans of the future (don't get me wrong, it's good to have goals to achieve but it's worst to forget about present and live in the future).

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He heard her steps on the stairs as he read the last word. He carefully closed the diary and placed it in the exact same place at it was before. She won't notice anything. He then seated on her bed just before she entered the room.

"Takumi… you look red. Is something wrong?" Misaki asked as she placed the plate with tea and bunny apples on her desk. His heart was pounding from all the adrenaline pumped into his veins. He almost got caught, she almost saw him reading her diary.

It was worth reading. He was so happy to find out that his Misaki had some deep thoughts.

She came closer to him and rested her hand on his forehead. "You're not burning. Are you blushing, Takumi?" she laughed at him. In one smooth move he caught her wrist and pulled her on top of him as he laid down on her bed. She struggled, punched him, called him _hentai_ and _alien_.

 _'I'll make you feel alive,'_ he promised to himself then enjoyed the bunny apples and his cup of tea.

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AN: Yeah, I am depressed. For now, this story is one shot. If you would like to read more (I think) deep stuff, I have ideas for further chapters. Just review or PM me and ask for it. Don't forget to fav and follow.

Follow me for further stories.

(Check Wounded hearts and End of the story and review!)

(Check Violet167's stories. She's great! (my senpai 3 3 3) )


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